Looking for a Hail Mary from St. Joseph

We all know how abysmal the real estate market is and has been for the better part of 2 years. Not good news when you are the one trying to sell a house. DJ has tried everything she can think of to sell it - including several price reductions, open houses, craigslist, painting, caulking, and trying to talk everyone she knows and meets into at least considering making an offer. So far, no offers and so, her brother-in-law, Jake, has decided to send in the big guns. 

A St. Joseph statue arrived a few days ago. According to the paperwork that came with the 2-3 inch statue, "Over the years, thousands have successfully followed the age-old practice of burying a statue of St. Joseph with the hope of selling or buying real estate." So, Alex, the boys and I decided to hold our ritual today. The statue came with some instructions, which DJ followed to a T.  

First, ask St. Joseph to help you sell your home, then believe in him to intercede to God for granting of your request, then show your trust by burying or placing St. Joseph's statute on the property, then thank St. Joseph for having responded to your call before, during and after the granting of your favor, then move St. Joseph's statue to a place of honor and finally, share your experiences with others. 

DJ recited the following Petition to St. Joseph:

Dear St. Joseph, head of the most perfect household, foster father of Jesus and guardian of His mother Mary, I confidently place myself and all my concerns under your care and protection. I ask that, through your powerful intercession with God, you obtain for me all the help and graces that I need for my spiritual and temporal welfare and in particular to sell my home. Good St. Joseph, I know with confidence, that your prayers on my behalf will be heard by God, and if it is His will, it will be done. Thank you St. Joseph for having responded to my call. Amen.

After the recitation of the Petition, we buried St. Joseph standing up facing the house. Nothing more to do but wait and hope for an offer.  Stay tuned. C'mon St. Joseph!! I know you can do it!

PEEPZILLA LIVES!

The neighbors have started a war. What was their family battle has spilled over to the innocent, and now the ultimate weapon must be unleashed. Let me catch you up. 

My neighbors-two-doors-over had an ongoing feud with the wife's sister. She hates all things Peep oriented. Her belief is that there is something just not right with peeps. This fear led to disgust and then, outright disdain. And so, the neighbors did the only thing they could do. They tortured her. Each holiday, they send her a box of peeps. They gave her a blue stuffed rabbit peep for Easter one year, a t-shirt with a picture of some peep chicks that reads Hangin' with my Peeps another year. Her defense has been to save the offending objects and resend them to the neighbors the next holiday, or the next year. 

As you know, DJ LOVES peeps that have been properly shelf baked to the appropriate level of staleness. The neighbors having learned this information decided to load DJ's mailbox with several boxes of their years-old-hockey-puck-hard peeps. What a cruel trick to let her think she would have some lovely peeps to shelf bake. Only for her to discover the inedibility of every last one.  Well, DJ decided not to get mad, but to get even instead. And so, Peepzilla was born. 

He will be the Grand Prize in the egg hunt DJ is throwing for the neighbor's children on Easter. The best part is that the peeps were attached using edible corn syrup. So, when the kiddies ask if they can eat the peeps, there will be no reason to say no. The kids will be bouncing off of the walls for hours and hours and hours. Oh the humanity. But hey, they started it. Mwahahahahahaha! Run for your life! Its Peepzilla!!!!!!