Looking for a Hail Mary from St. Joseph

We all know how abysmal the real estate market is and has been for the better part of 2 years. Not good news when you are the one trying to sell a house. DJ has tried everything she can think of to sell it - including several price reductions, open houses, craigslist, painting, caulking, and trying to talk everyone she knows and meets into at least considering making an offer. So far, no offers and so, her brother-in-law, Jake, has decided to send in the big guns. 

A St. Joseph statue arrived a few days ago. According to the paperwork that came with the 2-3 inch statue, "Over the years, thousands have successfully followed the age-old practice of burying a statue of St. Joseph with the hope of selling or buying real estate." So, Alex, the boys and I decided to hold our ritual today. The statue came with some instructions, which DJ followed to a T.  

First, ask St. Joseph to help you sell your home, then believe in him to intercede to God for granting of your request, then show your trust by burying or placing St. Joseph's statute on the property, then thank St. Joseph for having responded to your call before, during and after the granting of your favor, then move St. Joseph's statue to a place of honor and finally, share your experiences with others. 

DJ recited the following Petition to St. Joseph:

Dear St. Joseph, head of the most perfect household, foster father of Jesus and guardian of His mother Mary, I confidently place myself and all my concerns under your care and protection. I ask that, through your powerful intercession with God, you obtain for me all the help and graces that I need for my spiritual and temporal welfare and in particular to sell my home. Good St. Joseph, I know with confidence, that your prayers on my behalf will be heard by God, and if it is His will, it will be done. Thank you St. Joseph for having responded to my call. Amen.

After the recitation of the Petition, we buried St. Joseph standing up facing the house. Nothing more to do but wait and hope for an offer.  Stay tuned. C'mon St. Joseph!! I know you can do it!

PEEPZILLA LIVES!

The neighbors have started a war. What was their family battle has spilled over to the innocent, and now the ultimate weapon must be unleashed. Let me catch you up. 

My neighbors-two-doors-over had an ongoing feud with the wife's sister. She hates all things Peep oriented. Her belief is that there is something just not right with peeps. This fear led to disgust and then, outright disdain. And so, the neighbors did the only thing they could do. They tortured her. Each holiday, they send her a box of peeps. They gave her a blue stuffed rabbit peep for Easter one year, a t-shirt with a picture of some peep chicks that reads Hangin' with my Peeps another year. Her defense has been to save the offending objects and resend them to the neighbors the next holiday, or the next year. 

As you know, DJ LOVES peeps that have been properly shelf baked to the appropriate level of staleness. The neighbors having learned this information decided to load DJ's mailbox with several boxes of their years-old-hockey-puck-hard peeps. What a cruel trick to let her think she would have some lovely peeps to shelf bake. Only for her to discover the inedibility of every last one.  Well, DJ decided not to get mad, but to get even instead. And so, Peepzilla was born. 

He will be the Grand Prize in the egg hunt DJ is throwing for the neighbor's children on Easter. The best part is that the peeps were attached using edible corn syrup. So, when the kiddies ask if they can eat the peeps, there will be no reason to say no. The kids will be bouncing off of the walls for hours and hours and hours. Oh the humanity. But hey, they started it. Mwahahahahahaha! Run for your life! Its Peepzilla!!!!!!

 

 

Mmmm, Cheesy Goodness and Other Experimental Cooking Ideas

So, you are snowed in and have very little in the way of groceries due to your general loathing of food shopping. Hunger sets in. What do you do? 

With the recent snow storm that hit Virginia, DJ and the Boys found themselves in just this predicament. Dried cereal is okay for breakfast and soup is always a good idea on cold snowy days, but man (or woman in this case) can't live on granola and soup alone? Well my friends with a little bit of imagination and a sense of adventure, a tasty satisfying meal is on the way.  

First, look to your refrigerator. Gather any meats, eggs, veggies, cheeses, bread, biscuit or other prepared doughs, and fruits. Then head to your pantry. Do you have pasta? Rice? Veggies? Finally, look at your spices, oils and other seasonings. Once you have these items gathered, take them all in, letting the ideas simmer in your mind. 

Perhaps a pasta dish with some broccoli, garlic and olive oil with a bit of Parmesan cheese. Or some beef vegetable soup made from beef bouillon and canned, frozen or fresh vegetables with a little rice or pasta added. Maybe even something as easy as grilled cheese. A baked potato with a bit of cheese and bacon or deli ham chopped into it. The combinations could potentially last you a week. 

DJ was experimenting as the snow fell. Even in a pretty bare pantry, opportunity existed. A delicious meal of white garlic pizza was forged from a few simple ingredients!  The recipe is below.

1 Pillsbury dough pizza crust

3-5 cloves of garlic finely chopped

2-3 Mozzarella string cheese sticks

1-2 cups Feta cheese

1/2 cup olive oil

Italian seasoning herbs

Roll out the pizza crust onto a cookie sheet, in a saute or omelet pan cook garlic and olive oil until garlic is soft. Remove garlic and oil from heat and pour over pizza crust, spreading with a small spatula or pastry brush to evenly distribute and cover entire crust.  Pull string cheese apart in strips and place them on the crust to cover as much as possible. Sprinkle feta cheese over pizza crust to taste. Bake at 400 degrees for 10-15 minutes watching that crust does not burn.  

You can change the cheeses used and add any toppings you like. Pasta sauce can be used as pizza sauce, fresh veggies can be sliced and added. 

If you have more fruits on hand, you can always use those to make a version of fruit "pizza". For example, take sliced apples and add them to a mixing bowl with a little bit of water, cinnamon and sugar. Cover the bowl and shake well. Spread the mixture on the pizza crust and bake for a delicious, close-to-apple-pie fruit pizza.  

Happy Experimenting and Good Eating!

March in Virginia - In like a snow bunny?

                              

As the newscasters talked about the possibility of snow this weekend, it was hard to believe that they were not exaggerating a bit. "Severe winter storm warning" was their favorite catch phrase. Mind you, these are the same newscasters that make a light rain shower something akin to a torrential downpour, so DJ and the Boys were a bit skeptical. We also had our location in central Virginia on our side. Snow in Virginia in March is rare, and accumulations of any significance even more rare. Imagine our disappointment when the snow began to accumulate, not only on the grassy areas, but also on the roads. Hmm, looks like we will get an inch or two after all we said about 8 p.m. on Sunday. Then the power started to flicker as we looked at the 3-4 inches around 10 p.m.  Now, we are staring out the window to see about 8 inches of the heavy white stuff on the deck. Wow! Are we in Virginia? It suddenly feels like Pennsylvania. We are not going to get above freezing today, or tomorrow. What is this?? Virginia snow only stays a few hours when it does land and accumulate. 

No snow plows have made their way to our little cul de sac. And a tree has fallen across the street at the neighbor's house. I suppose we will be here for the day and possibly tomorrow. I should have run out for some eggs, bread and milk. Luckily the boys have plenty of food and snacks for the next week.  I have always been curious about how those biscuits taste, if I run out of food, this may be the time to find out. 

The newscasters are predicting temperatures in the 60s by Thursday and all through the weekend. Now that's more like the south. Til then, maybe we can build a couple dozen snowmen. 

Be Fooled and Love It!

Many of you know that DJ is an avid reader, often reading multiple books at one time. One of DJ's favorite authors is a chap named Christopher Moore. This guy is hilarious! His latest book is called Fool and is loosely based on Shakespeare's King Lear. Very loosely based. A description on the jacket cover and the fact that it was written by Moore were all that was needed to sell me on reading this one, and I was not disappointed. Christopher Moore has written ten other books including my favorites: You Suck, A Dirty Job and Lamb (The gospel according to Biff, Christ's childhood friend). Below is a preview.  

"This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity as well as nontraditional grammar, split infinitives and the odd wank..."  

Fool

A man of infinite jest, Pocket has been Lear's cherished fool for years, from the time the king's grown daughters - selfish, scheming Goneril, sadistic (but erotic-fantasy-grade-hot) Regan, and sweet, loyal Cordelia - were mere girls. So naturally Pocket is at his brainless, elderly liege's side when Lear - at the insidious urging of Edmond, the bastard (in every way imaginable) son of the Earl of Gloucester - demands that his kids swear their undying love and devotion before a collection of assembled guests. Of course Goneril and Regan are only too happy to brownnose Dad. But Cordelia believes that her father's request is kind of....well...stupid, and her blunt honesty ends up costing her her rightful share of the kingdom and earns her a banishment to boot.  Well, now the bangers and mash have really hit the fan. The whole damn country's about to go to hell in a handbasket because of a stubborn old fart's wounded pride. And the only person who can possibly make things right...is Pocket, a small slight clown with a biting sense of humor....

Want to read more Moore...then get thee to a bookstore.

Et tu Brute?

The last week or so Alex, the Boys and I have been watching the dvds for the HBO series Rome. While Mocha and I have seen them several times, this was Alex's and Fuego's first time. Fuego found them a bit too violent and did not care for the amount of cursing. However, Alex loved it. The series ran a few years ago and only for two seasons. It tells of Julius Caesar's rise to power, his fall, and the rise of Gaius Octavian Caesar, including his battle with Mark Antony and Cleopatra. The series is amazingly well done. The casting was brilliant. They spare no detail and you can easily forget you are living in 2009 and have to get some sleep so you can avoid zombie-esque behavior at work the next day.  It tells the story in full, yet leaves you wishing there was more to see. 

Even though Fuego lost interest, he did find Cleopatra irresistible and fell in love with the inventive wigs and head pieces she wore. We discovered his new found fetish when we came home one day and caught him in the act of prancing around with a makeshift head piece of his own. If he weren't so cute, I would be very upset about his use of my scarf! 

Is It Baseball Season Yet?

 

While DJ and Fuego don't particularly like or dislike professional sports, Mocha is a huge fan. He is looking forward to spring training and all of the excitement leading up to Opening Day. In preparation, he has started his own training regimine of running around the yard, and sometimes the house, at top speed. He has been practicing his ball fielding skills and warming up his throwing paw.  Fuego has been helping Mocha get in shape by leading their training runs and by forcing errors when Mocha tries to catch the ball.  Mostly though, Mocha has been spitting out baseball statistics he has gathered from research on the Internet, and wearing Alex's old Yankees baseball cap.  Hope you are looking forward to spring too!